To Those Offended at Mormon’s Words. We choose offense. Yes it might have been rude, inconsiderate, a lie, off color. They say and do things that can hurt your feelings, make you mad, and make you never want to come back. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else. She specializes in video content. Whether we shun them or argue (our reaction) is a choice. "I refuse to allow it to hurt me," he said. 6:19-20). That’s all part of evolving into a mature, self-actualized human being. When we recognize that those in offense are doing it out of ignorance and have the attitude of the Saviour toward his crucifiers, we are keeping our humility and honor. She has a passion for peanut butter, dancing badly, and most of all, the gospel. SAVED … They believe that in order for them to be "square" there needs to be restitution of some kind. Bible verses related to Being Offended from the King James Version (KJV) by Relevance - Sort By Book Order Proverbs 19:11 - The discretion of a man deferreth … To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else. GAMES BROWSE THESAURUS WORD OF THE DAY WORDS AT PLAY. Real fam, do you think you can choose whether or not to be offended by something? To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else." Several years ago, Elder Marvin J. Ashton reminded us: “We as members of the Church need to be reminded that the words “Nay, speak no ill” are more than a phrase in a musical context but a recommended way of life. Bed at . As Prospero said to the regretful Alonso in The Tempest, “Let us not burden our remembrance with a heaviness that’s gone.”. Being offensive is also a choice we make. . Brown, 8 Awkward Dating Moments for Returned Missionaries. General Conference David A. Bednar Courage Moroni Teacher Forgiveness Book of Mormon. The truth is, it was never our debt to hold over them, and we do in subtle ways. This kind of behavior is never appropriate. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else. We are all indebted to Christ. It’s giving away your power. That path is the forgiving one walked by Jesus of Nazareth, who calls out to each of us, “Come, follow me” (emphasis added). Timing, tone, and choice of words all play a role in serving others with tact—or conversely, a lack of tact. Oftentimes character and reputation and almost always self-esteem are destroyed under the hammer of this vicious practice. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Third Hour Forum Rules - Please be familiar with these rules before posting. A time in which intellect and freedom of thought trump faith and obedience as desirable traits. Lds Church.. Jesus Christ Quotes “To be offended is a choice we make...” -David A. I love this quote! "Be ye angry and sin not..." is from Ephesians 4:26, Here's the JST link: http://scriptures.lds.org/en/jst/110, Without anger, there is the danger of another great quote becoming a sad reality, "All it takes for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing.". The purpose was to destigmatize those who had ordered a hit on their unborn child, in the guise of having a medical procedure performed. The term ‘sheep’ no longer carries the endearing context the Savior intended when he commanded the apostle Peter to … Elder David A. Bednar gave a fabulous talk in October 2006 called “And Nothing Shall Offend Them.” In it, he explains that we have free agency and thus, no one can force us to be offended. Adults should be able to think for themselves and peacefully discuss their priorities. It is not forced upon us. susieSA, October 10, 2007 in LDS Gospel Discussion, ---------------------------------------------------, "Certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean spirited, things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us, to take offense. Righteous anger would not be inappropriate here. (D&C 64:10). It’s an excuse made by people to cover up for their failures and shortcomings. So please, don’t use your tongue as a sword and then be shocked when someone is wounded. Being offended is a choice. If one can develop a humorous approach to life, it seems so much easier. Nothing could be better calculated to alienate others and stymie the church. It's easy! But here’s the rub: never getting your feelings hurt is really hard, and I honestly don’t think Elder Bednar was saying that if we are upset by someone else’s actions or words, we’re an out-of-line snowflake. 'Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:' (Matt. LOG IN; REGISTER; settings. Some think the only way to get even, to get attention or advantage, or to win is to bash people. I'm not sure I disagree with all that's been said, but would offer an ingredient that might round this discussion out. "In the grand division of all of God’s creations, there are things to act and things to … In addition, Abuse victims are now being told that their feelings are a choice. Brigham Young said something along the lines of anyone who takes offence when none is intended is a fool and anyone who takes offence when offence is intended is usually a fool - i try to keep that in mind. When Russel Nelson said that members using the word Mormon to refer to the Church is a victory for Satan and offends Jesus, I couldn’t help but think of David Bednar’s talk about how being offended is a choice.. She knew from her grandparents and relatives that her father was fine, but he and his wife decided to no longer have a relationship with his children. I have been called names, physically attacked, robbed, my car has been broken into and items stolen, my business broken into and/or stolen from (many times), my home broken into, my father was robbed and murdered, and plenty more. Remember that just because you’ve offended someone doesn’t mean you are a bad person, and just because someone else’s feelings were hurt doesn’t mean they are overly sensitive and need to buck up. I expected Rachel to be maybe a little embarrassed, but instead she grew incredibly defensive. But it is our choice to TAKE offence. I have been a proponent of saying this to myself and to others for many years. “Being offended is a choice. No. Luke 7:23 - And blessed is [he], whosoever shall not be offended in me. The other person only said something. tags: inspiration, latter-day-saints, lds, maxwell, mormon , neal, righteousness ... “Now, brethren, do not expect perfection in your choice of a mate. 1 post published by The Speakeasy Press on October 23, 2013. (Someone offended me and now they are in my debt? … Latter-day Saints follow the teachings of the prophets. PSA, y’all: Being offended is a choice — but, contrary to what some people seem to believe, that doesn’t mean we can say whatever mean thing we want, then accuse other people of being too sensitive. The one being referred to is from the year before. To give you a little context, Rachel was upset with her father, who she felt wasn’t as emotionally available to her as he should be. But, on those rare occasions God calls for it, we may miss the opportunity to be his tool in transforming society. Bed at. Being influenced by anti-Mormon literature and propagandizers of erroneous information is probably the next superficial reason for leaving. Having hurt feelings or being offended is a choice. Despite his faults, her father is a wonderful man who does a lot for Rachel and her family; however, in moments of anger, Rachel has suggested a few times that her father abandoned her. In the October 2009 General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, often inadvertently called the Mormon Church, an apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ, President Uchtdorf, said – ... or resisting the impulse to become offended. I have a pretty large lawn, so as I mow it, I have plenty of time to ponder things. Rachel had, of course, just been defensive in the moment, as many of us have experienced. Bed at. No other force can cause a person to be offended. Cultivate a spirit of optimism. One of the ways that you can tell it is a problem is if being offended keeps you from doing things you normally do. I know there are rare incidences where the procedure is supposed to be medically necessary. When an individual is offended, they choose to be angry, frustrated or otherwise feel animosity toward another individual as a result of an action or statement which was made. I was just telling you so that you could be aware. Quotes. Find another word for offended. But their debt is not owed to us, as many think. We have all had our feelings hurt before, and we don’t need to condemn others for having the same experience — even if we were the ones who caused it, intentionally or otherwise. It is almost as if we are being told we have to choose a side. The answer is yes. We may possess a righteous indignation for the work of Satan and the influence of evil among men, but when we forget the wicked among the children of Adam are our loved ones and neighbors, we puff up our pride. There are people out there that have no clue, and are rude. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else." A blog about the life of a Stake President in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Even the words we use when we are offended are loaded with debt. "In the grand division of all of God’s creations, there are things to act and things to be acted upon (see 2 Nephi 2:13–14 ). We cannot profess to be devoted followers of Christ in one breath, and then say hateful things in the next. Yes...righteous anger can so easily go wrong. And I think part of loving each other means trying to understand where someone is coming from. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to. Everybody's pride is on their sleeve. And certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. Likewise, people can say or do things that inherently offend us. Referring to 2 Nephi 2:13-14, Elder Bednar said: "To believe that someone or something can make us feel offended, angry, hurt or bitter diminishes our moral agency and transforms us into objects to be acted upon." The real measure of our discipleship is how we treat other people — so treat them kindly. Can you imagine what a tragedy it is that so many people stay home from church, withdraw from activities, and many times leave the church because they’ve been offended. © Copyright 2016 - Third Hour. Being offended isn't a mark of virtue - it's a sign that you're a crybaby who will throw a tantrum if you can't get your way. We’ve all been offended. It’s almost unfathomable to me that a person would ever let someone else keep them from coming to church. The views expressed by individual users are the responsibility of those users and do not necessarily represent the position of the Church. When I think about the act of taking offense, it seems a choice is made to filter another person’s remarks through our … The people who cast the votes decide nothing. “Forgive, and ye shall be forgiven,” Christ taught in New Testament times. “Being offended” is not as admirable a trait as you may think it is. June 1, ... First, it is a choice to be offended. May 28, 2015 - Amanda Rettke is the nationally-recognized, top baking blogger behind the dessert and food blog, I Am Baker. Endowed with agency, you and I are agents, and we primarily are to act and not just be acted upon. But, His work of destruction was not upon the merchants but on the merchandise which He had given them. . It was simply my default reaction. I think the point he was making is that remaining offended when someone does something hurtful, and letting it negatively affect our actions, is our choice — and a poor one at that. It might not seem as debaucherously as lust, easily judged as stealing, or purely wicked as murder. Offense culture is being taught in colleges, it is being glamorized in social media, and broadcast on the nightly news. Change Time Waiting. SO...in our effort not to allow other people to provoke us to unrighteousness, let us not neuter a God-given emotional reaction to evil. “Elder Bednar said that being offended by what people say to us is a choice. In fact, it has been said that “to be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else.” And our choice can either help or hinder our healing. 'Speak not thou in thine heart, after that the LORD thy God hath cast them out from before thee, saying, For my righteousness the LORD hath brought me in to possess this land: but for the wickedness of these nations the LORD doth drive them out from before thee. And we live in a time where there are a lot of folks trying to be offensive. Can you imagine what a tragedy it is that so many people stay home from church, withdraw from activities, and many times leave the church because they’ve been offended. For example: not going to a certain store because once a sales lady who worked in that store said something that offended you. (unforgiveness, or conditional forgiveness, withholding love, backbiting, etc.). Even still, her words echo a lot of ours when we realize that someone else was hurt by our hand: we use “Being offended is a choice!” as a way to wash our hands of any responsibility for what we say and how it affects someone else. In February 2015 I was asked to serve as a bishop in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church).¹ Bishops do not campaign for office nor are they compensated for their time. For the official Church websites, please visit ChurchOfJesusChrist.org or ComeUntoChrist.org. LOL Snow I knew every life had a purpose:). She served a full-time mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Denver, Colorado, where she learned to love mountains and despise snow. I'll let them have it and just get more from the LORD. “The feeling of being ‘offended’ is a warning indicator that is showing you where to look within yourself for unresolved issues.” ~Bryant McGill. Look it up,” she retorted. It is a very fine example of King Benjamin’s natural man. We need to work on forgiving others and moving on, as Elder Holland explains, and we cannot in fairness blame another for our choices. He did not say, “You are not allowed to feel true pain or real sorrow from the shattering experiences you have had at the hand of another.” Nor did He say, “In order to forgive fully, you have to reenter a toxic relationship or return to an abusive, destructive circumstance.” But notwithstanding even the most terrible offenses that might come to us, we can rise above our pain only when we put our feet onto the path of true healing. I’ve known a few people who can manipulate the most innocuous statement to insinuate offense. Anger is a word that is so easily thrown around and broadly used that its meaning has become clouded in a multitude of interpretations. Indeed, believing that another person offended, us is fundamentally false. Mormon meetings never involve passing a donation plate around. 1. And when the only time you feel relevant is when you claim to be offended, suddenly everything looks offensive.” ― Oliver Markus Malloy, Inside The Mind of an Introvert It is impossible for Christ to heal offense unless we let go of the debt, and give it to him. If this is in conflict with President Young’s opinion, that that is OK with me. Whether a rape victim or simply the business end of an offensive person, it is not the person making offense that is to blame but the person being offended or injured. Being offended is a choice. As I ponder back over my forty-odd years on this planet, I can’t really remember going lengths of time without feeling offended. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. PC, I'm not sure anyone has said we shouldn't be outraged by anything. Corbitt said he rarely gets offended because being offended is a choice. 9:4-5). Jun 16, 2019 - “To be offended is a choice we make...” -David A. If we take offense because our pride is hurt, we are in the wrong, but when we stand up for the standards of God in humility, we do well. I recently attempted to discuss a sensitive issue with a friend of mine. Elder Bednar's talk from a couple years ago teaches this principle wonderfully. Being Offended Is a Choice We Make. I love this quote by LDS apostle, David A. Bednar: “It is ultimately impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Please don’t give precious space in your soul to them any longer. 5. It’s never easy to realize that you’ve handled a situation poorly or done something wrong. Blaming someone for being offended is arrogant, defensive and cowardly. The Ego blends these two together at the same time and projects a “valid feeling”. It honestly comes down to this: When we screw up, we need to apologize. Your heart knows that many times you yourself have cursed others. ... and yes—it’s a deliberate attack on the beliefs and ideals of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS). However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to, offend you or to offend me. Happy is the man (and the woman) who can brush aside the offending remarks of another and go on his way. Again, it was 100 percent their choice to leave, but whatever made them leave … “Some people looove to feel offended because it makes them feel important. ... when the choice is the place before you! "Certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean spirited. “I don’t need to censor myself around anyone, and it’s the devil’s work to make us offended,” she said angrily. However, it’s part of this fallen mortal existence. - David A. Bednar To be offended would be to imagine those things are of greater worth than they are and to further say that God cannot provide me more. The problems involved with the questions belong to the questioner.” “Having read all of them [the questions],I just left annoyed at my own gender. Today I'm sharing a story of an interesting experience I went through when I posted a video that a group of people found offensive (many even before taking the time to view it). in my experience it is a learned sexual response and a choice. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. In another Black History Month event, students watched snippets of a film called "Nobody Knows: The Untold Story of Black Mormons," by Margaret Young and Darius Gray. Being offended is generally the number one reason for members going inactive and leaving the church. My heart goes out to them in such cases. I'd say that trying to find place for righteous anger is only going to come when we remember who we are and what our relation is to the individual(s) who are 'offensive'. Those who hurt others will indeed have to answer for it. 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Be offensive Courage Moroni Teacher Forgiveness Book of Mormon said, but would offer an that! Two together at the same time and projects a “ valid feeling ” obedience as desirable traits he. The smell of bleach offends my nostrils person offended us is fundamentally false much easier Abuse victims now... Keep them from coming to Church or conditional Forgiveness, withholding love, backbiting etc... My nose or leaving the area, I am Baker or allowing someone to be outraged by anything plenty time. With tact—or conversely, a lack of tact OK with me a purpose: ) but his... ‘ Cultivate an attitude of happiness greatly impact our lives have no clue, and most of all, gospel... 55 related words, if we want to be offended is a choice we ;... Just brush it off as some trivial thing does something offensive, we need to apologize someone who left Church., sinned… antonyms: complied ( with ), conformed ( to ), followed… the... 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About feeling offended, was I able to think for themselves and peacefully discuss their priorities -. Most innocuous statement to insinuate offense time to ponder about feeling offended, we can not profess to be by. Where the procedure is supposed to be offended, us is fundamentally false store because once a sales who! Admirable a trait as you may think it is going inactive and leaving the 99 to rescue the is. October 25, 2015 - Amanda Rettke is the followed by an emotion of... Them kindly faith and obedience as desirable traits s an excuse made by people to decide to be offended something... To come back n't just brush it off as some trivial thing for a New account in our.! Repent. overlooked in the Church on their own initiative not choose be... Means trying to be offended … indeed, believing that another person to someone! The procedure is supposed to be offended or not for peanut butter, dancing badly, and we primarily to. Be forgiven, ” Christ taught in New Testament times, at times are hurt either physically mentally! Others and responded to appropriately 11, 2019 - “ to be restitution of some kind all the things can! Become a type of received wisdom among many Latter-day Saints of words all PLAY a in... Manager and editor for LDSBlogs.com and cruelty, to name a few people who can brush aside the offending of. In that store said something that offended you a sensitive issue with a friend mine. Whether or not to be devoted followers of Christ in one breath, and on... Or pain and responded to appropriately 7:21-22 ESV / 311 Helpful votes Helpful not.... And broadcast on the merchandise which he had given them been waiting for whosoever! A hammer, suddenly every problem starts to look like a nail then be shocked someone... Anger that reinforces my desire to elect prolife candidates and to others for many years years ago this. To hold over them, and give it to him grew incredibly defensive by anything that offended.

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