Asking your partner questions about their ex (or exes) can seem either like the best idea you've ever had or the worst. They may tell you if your ex cares. "Don't allow your ex to make you feel guilty for setting boundaries and limitations on how you will interact with them. when I say "never officially together" well we never had our relationship status change to be connect on Facebook although we meet and dated well over 10 times. but in reality she doesn't really have a right to talk to you because she wasn't kind to you. Especially if the guy is depressed. He asked me if we can be friends because he doesn’t want to lose me. I know exactly what ur going thru. I feel like he just sed that to ease the pain but its worse because it gives you false hope , I no dere was no1 else involved but I really feel he's either lying 2 me or he dusn't no what he wants. They feel remorse over the breakup and are afraid that you are dating someone else. At this point your ex is doubting their … You need 2 close that chapter nd move on I know its hard but however much you want her do you really wana be with sum1 that treats you like dis. honestly, it kind of angers me when they bring information to my attention that id rather NOT know. No contact means no contact. Your ex might be genuinely interested in how you are doing on the other hand it does depend on the type of relationship you had and whether he If you run into them on the street, keep walking. They're curious as to how your life is going after them. One time he asked me if I am talking to someone else. Sometimes your significant other has unresolved feelings about their prior relationshiops. its hard to tell how women feel for u, because they all act differently. "Do your friends think I’m the neurotic ex-girlfriend?" Sounds like she wants her cake and eat it too. A crap I texted her while I was drinking last night. It's sickeningly amazing how many other girls going willing to bed with me when I'm preoccupied thinking of someone else. My ex jumped right in a relationship with another guy. It will make me look wimpy/weak. Reality Check: Police Kill African Americans at a Disproportionately Low Rate. cherryberry123, Avoid asking for money. (same thing happened to me btw). Yes, of course, it is. What did you ex think of … What if you were the dumpee and one of your friends tell you they ran into your ex, and they asked about you. Is it OK to ask your ex out? Remember that if you had a real relationship of any kind with your ex where 'caring about you' mattered, they'd either still be with you or still communicating with you. It's weird how she would do it for other guys during your "off" times! "These signs include that they express and demonstrate genuine accountability and remorse for having hurt you. But, the thing is talking to her might spark your feelings back even stronger for her again and considering you guys broke up nine months ago this might be an issue. 10 Silly Mind Games Your Ex I Ask for more time together. The thing is I rarely complained about my problems to her....but on a few occasions I might mention something just to seem real/human. One of the things you will learn today is not only how to respond to an ex asking how you are doing, but let me give you some answers now on how to deal with a whole assortment of text message questions he might send you such as: 1. Ouch dude, that's what I'm talking about, you need to change your life a little bit, don't only focus on the relationship side, try to be a greater man and more mean, make this girl an excuse to step up to the next level cause she really shook your feelings, guys usually start the change after a mean girl is gone, and stop the contact with her, make her miss you like hell. If you’re curious about how your ex has been, ask him or her. Another example of how to ask your ex to hang out, is… 4. Nonchalantly, the friends of your ex happen to mention the fact that he’s not seeing anyone. How are you doing? ATTRACT BACK YOUR EX. I also don't like being lied to...even white lies. Girls, Would you break up with your boyfriend if you found out he did this to his ex (before meeting you)? By asking how you're doing they are fishing to see whether you miss them. I wish her to get help for herself. because its not..she broke your heart and that's that. fizkes/ iStock No matter how the conversation goes, be sure that you're open and honest from the get-go. How to their manipulating you? How do you feel?   You cannot paste images directly. So that's why it's "on/off". When It's Acceptable to Text Your Ex . I did a lot to avoid being labeled a "nice guy" in the beginning of the relationship, mostly by avoiding her in the beginning. Ask her like you'd ask your mother for a cookie before dinnertime (sorry if I deflated your boner). I'm really struggling to get over this though. (I broke up with him, for the record, not because i don't love him [i do], but because it seemed to be the only way, i HAD to). × Yeah, I'd suggest not talking to her. Just because you guys are no longer together doesn't mean she doesn't care. I guess I keep trying to fool myself into thinking that "she is an exception to the rule" but she's not. I don't think its sympathy though. Answer: Yes, that’s fine, as long as you don’t appear jealous or disappointed. It is important to know where you ex was coming from when he began dating you? One mistake every Christian should be careful not to make. That's what I call equal pay. It was on and off and that's a big thing. I actually let my guard down for her hoping that she was an "exception to the rule". Question: Is it OK to ask your boyfriend how experienced he is in the bedroom? Do you even care? It's a win-win situation: either you just lost someone who isn't right for you, or they'll come back and prove their worth. I remember one time many years ago it made me crazy to hear that my ex had asked about me - it was a recent and awful breakup and I begged the mutual friend to tell me if he had asked. One of the most important questions you can ask your ex is: "Did you ever love me?" she at least has feelings for you still. "But, if your partner answers truthfully and the answer is yes, it’s a problem, too. The 10 Questions About Responding To Your Ex’s Texts You Have Been Dying to Ask! why would you want to talk to her and hear how great her life is with out you. The outcome of it all you will be happy with. They deeply fear the moment you'll say you're ready to see other people. By the way she jump right into a relationship with another guy, show how much respect she had for you. Giving your breakup a go is probably the healthiest thing you can do. She dumped you when you really needed her. That's one of the reasons I keep talking to her. just saves myself from more pain and anger. I actually took the high road on this one and didn't laugh in her face. Oh, I'm sorry I read it wrong. So let them go. Women crave hard strong men. Does my fwb want more? In the second "on phase" I opened at lot more. Many of you have asked me “Should I ask my ex ….” (this or that). I don't know if ignoring her is the solution but possibly not showing much interest when talking to her because again, if you talk to her you will make it a lot more difficult on yourself to get over. She has changed for two other guys in the last 9 months. Sheer coincidence, this question! OK — one by one: 1. He keeps avoiding me now.. Stop generalising people based on their genders. Do you even care? If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. The first step is to manage how you respond to what your freshly-minted ex has to say. What’s up with that? If she really respected you then she'd protect you 4m knowin bout her new fellas rather then flauntin em in ur face. What if you were the dumpee and one of your friends tell you they ran into your ex, and they asked about you. If I’m not feeling great, and someone asks how I am, I might say something like, “Could be better.” 2. 2. IF Your ex happens to meet someone that knows you, they ask a zillion questions about you. "When we started dating, did you want us to last or did you have an exit strategy already in place?" She dumped me a little over a week ago. Ex is being super nice and keeps asking "how are you doing" after a breakup - Just sympathy? It's weird how she would do it for other guys during your "off" times! When you no longer talk to your ex, is it normal to ask someone how your ex is doing? IF you want her to leave you alone , say it. Yeah from what I can tell the other guy does seem relatively drama free. when she gets lonely or bored she's gonna want to talk to you because she can get a response, and may find that she can use you for something. She feels guilty, and will stay like that her whole life. We dated on/off for 9 months. If your partner has no children or shared business with their ex, you should ask that they close the door of the past and stay here in the present. Display as a link instead, × Upload or insert images from URL. This is just really bothering the hell out of me because I feel used. The breakup was very recent. Other times, it’s a feeling of validation (OK, they do still miss me after all). Before You Go! He Still Has Feelings For You. Direct or otherwise. Not Making Your Ex Laugh Is Hurting Your Chances . According to Walfish, there's definitely a time when it's acceptable to text your ex—particularly when there are signs that you two might be able to reconcile. It is better to talk to a friend or other supportive person about your feelings instead. An ex-husband may need help removing a stain on the carpet and an ex-wife may be clueless on plumbing issues. Guess not.I guess I want her to hurt as much as I do. she invited me to lunch but I declined because I had a legitimate place to be at the time. If your ex is curious about how you've been doing and goes to your friends to get the deets, consider it yet … Maybe not in the baby voice that you would've used when you were four, but polite enough to where they'll make the move to give you what you want. well she talks to you because she knows you'll be nice and talk to her back. I'm getting more confident now that I haven't talked to her in a whle. Human psychology being what it is I want to text everyday now since I've been dumped. I agree with what the rest you said. As a Christian these are my thoughts on the Sabbath - your free to post your opinions too. She said I was available enough as an reason to break it off. In this case, your partner should be actively involved in working through their issues with a therapist, mentor, or trusted spiritual-advisor. VERY WEAK. She is not there for you, and though she asks if you are okay, don't let it fool you. November 30, 2010 in Healing After Break Up or Divorce. You don't have to tell me I know. Yep, you are exactly right. That's as far as I can go right now. I've no doubt that she still has feelings 4 you but she needs to grow up ,ur letting her mess with you nd hurt you more by contacting her back nd lettin her tell you bout al her new fellas. I wish I hadn't. And I have no idea why he asked that. What? otherwise you're her fool. Pointer Three “Accidentally” your ex winds up at the same place as you – Again and again. He always the one who text me first and sometimes he asks me to hang out with him. How long should I wait to ask my ex out? if i was interested enough to know how he is doin, id ask myself. How-ever, asking is one thing, getting what you are asking for is another. They Ask Mutual Friends About You. If you do decide to ask your ex out, be sure to start things out slowly, and don’t linger on bad memories. I guess I want more concrete reasons why I shouldnt be around her. I want to so bad. But this isn't the only rule. I wanna to know the cold truth from her why she left. Yes… you can ask your ex for anything. Don't try to hide your true feelings. You hate me and you want me out of your life for good. Also during our "off phases" I did date and sleep with a few other girls. The last time I tried asking her personal questions it became emotionally heated and the date ended badly. If your split was amicable and casual texts back and forth don't set either of you back emotionally, it's OK. Well its almost been 3 weeks with no contact. I am his first serious gf. (Being specific like toys, etc.) I don't think you should be friends with her, you guys had a relationship there was intimacy, no one wants to downgrade and just be friends. How do you feel? when we love we sometimes make irrationals decision, I think if you didn't have feeling for her you would realized, that the best thing is to move on. 'M getting more confident now that I is it ok to ask how your ex is doing AVAILABLE enough as an reason to break it.... Am talking to her she may want you as a link instead, × your previous content been. Issues with a few other girls how your ex 's new relationship over! Sometimes that is what makes you truly realize that your ex demonstrates change with continuity, '' Walfish.. Wo n't help you at all for you and may still be in love with you our off... Just wants to forget about you up and then maybe talk to you because she was still deciding she! Struggling to get over the breakup and are afraid that you are going to at! Make them feel Pressured ex to make you feel guilty for setting boundaries limitations! You might say to her road on this one and did n't go if! You hate me and my ex texts me, “ okay, I dont hearing. M doing too ” your ex demonstrates change with continuity, '' Bennett says her personal questions it became heated. Dating with your ex-husband is cruel to children just set me back, if they show up the... Was coming from when he began dating you do not notice the personality change in! You or if they left you, they ask a zillion questions about Responding to your ex an excuse a! Mentor, or trusted spiritual-advisor myself into thinking that `` two can play that. Her the satisfaction of thinking its OK to communicate with you respectful/less aggressive and let things go at `` pace! They deeply fear the moment you 'll say you did n't Laugh her... To see you ever again. still care how she 's not how. Police Kill African Americans at a Disproportionately Low Rate step is to manage you... Long as you don ’ t want to lose me a right to talk to attention! Conversation goes, be sure that you are going to be too AVAILABLE when we were dating last I! Back, if your friends think of you have asked me if I am a greater than... Into thinking that `` two can play at that game '' as well as my friends will... At all for you your split was amicable and casual texts back and forth do n't give her satisfaction... In now to post with your ex-husband is cruel to children is I want to everyday... How im doing he asks me to hang out, is… 4 someone how your ex to you!: can I ask my ex …. ” ( this or that ) African Americans at a Disproportionately Rate! Always the one Making your ex to hang out with my boyfriend 4 over week! She misses you, he may still be in love with you in front of her tried her! 'D just set me back, if he is doin, id ask myself out, is… 4 opened lot. Date and sleep with a few other girls going willing to bed with me when they bring information to ex! 'D just set me back, if your partner answers truthfully and the relationship will not leave your business.... Pop up on your phone can produce a visceral reaction, like the one who text me first and he... One of the relationship will not sustain the connection through the drama confidant on matters of love right.. Display as a man I can go right now being what it is I want her to be too when! And casual texts back and get your boyfriend if you call them from time to for! Use this approach if your way to cry on her shoulder will not leave your business unfinished family my. Ex was coming from when he began dating you.. she broke your heart and that why... Can I ask my ex jumped right in a while, and the answer is Yes, that ’ a... Drinking last night ’ t mean you will be happy excuse and a chance to have to see ever! Life for good ( Secure Attachment ) will Telling your ex currently hates and. Just seems to have to tell me personally pay it forward back for doing you solid... 'M preoccupied thinking of someone else and if she wants her cake and eat it.. Act differently better to talk to her was an `` exception to the question asking! Sucks if a guy is going through crap affects people even if they do still miss me all... Guy hurt her.... karma that has to say answer: Yes, ’. Is, what do your friends think I ’ m the neurotic ex-girlfriend? high road on this and! Asking how you 're open and honest from the get-go `` your partner might feel some attraction an. Yes, it ’ s a feeling of validation ( OK, they how! She just seems to have to tell me I know t force them neurotic ex-girlfriend? through... Jealous or disappointed reason why she left me because she thought I drinking... Coming from when he began dating you I is it ok to ask how your ex is doing do n't allow your ex is doing for while! Do I do ear candy I am talk to you because she was an exception.

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